CHOICES

One of the disadvantages of living in rural Nebraska is the lack of choices.
Choices that are taken for granted in urban areas, choices in entertainment, choices
in restaurants and shopping that are not available in smaller towns. At the
Svoboda Funeral Home we take giving the families we serve as many choices as
possible a priority.

Svoboda Funeral Home offers the families we serve a choice of two very
distinctively different facilities for visitations and services. The South Chapel
located at 905 A Street can comfortably seat about 100 family members and guest
in the chapel and family room for services. The home like atmosphere is very
welcoming and provides a warm comfortable setting where it is easy to visit with
family and friends. The North Chapel located at 2004 Colfax has a more church
like atmosphere with a main chapel and family room that can comfortably seat 150
people. The lounge can be used to serve coffee and cookies after services or just
as a comfortable meeting area for families during visitations.

We display twenty two caskets in our selection room, with prices starting at
$374.00.

We offer two different Rental Caskets priced at $400.00.

We offer ten different grave liners or vaults, with prices starting at $938.00

We offer 34 different Memorial Folders plus two different sizes of personalized
Memory Folders, with prices starting at $40.00 for an unlimited quantity.

We offer twelve different Thank You Notes, priced at $10 for an unlimited
quantity.

We offer six different Register Books, with prices starting at $12.00

We display 15 different urns, with the added option of selecting one from several
urn catalogs, with prices starting at $58.00.

We offer seven different Cremation packages.

Thank you for considering us as one your options when one of your loved ones
dies or you are interested in talking about Pre-need funeral arrangements.


HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS

Thanksgiving and Christmas are traditional family holidays, and therein lies the problem. How do you celebrate when your family is no longer complete?

Grieving people do not function at normal capacity. Since their limitations are
different they must decide what they can and can not do for themselves and their families. Some families will function quite well with the way they always celebrated while some families will feel a need to change their traditions. You
need to realize that there will be differing opinions in the family and different reactions. A spouse will feel differently than a child, and a child that only got to see the parent a few times a year will react differently than a child that lived near that parent. Those reactions have nothing to do with who loved the deceased
more, it has more to do with perceptions and how you were invested in that person.

Don't change traditions just to change. Change because it will be helpful in moving through your grief during these hard times. The change may be a small as serving a different meal or changing the time of the gathering. You need to realize that tears, depression and loneliness are all natural reactions to a loss. You also
need to be able to let yourself enjoy the festivities and family without feeling guilty for having fun.

Be sure to freely talk about the deceased. Don't pretend like they never existed. Young children especially need to know that that person was special and will not be forgotten. A good way to share how that person was important is to ask each family member to "tell us a funny remembrance you have about ____, and the thing you will miss most about them". Then accept what is said and do not be judgmental about the answers.

Holidays are ALWAYS stressful. Know that the emptiness will not be filled by how many gather in your home, how tall the tree or how prefect the meal Cry when you must and laugh when you can.

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GRIEF AND ANGER

Recently I heard a speaker say that a large part of grief is anger. You are often angry and don't know who or what you are truly angry at, or you are ashamed that you have this feeling and you try to ignore it. The problem with trying to ignore your anger is that then it is never dealt with and continues to be a problem. Anger is a part of grief because someone who was important to you has been taken away.
You may be angry with the physician or a relative that you think didn't do enough. You may be angry at God because He let this happen. You may even be angry with the person that died because they left you. You will probably even find a way to be angry with yourself. Eighteen months after my dad died I found myself being mad at everyone and everything for no apparent reason. In talking to a friend about it he asked if I had really grieved the loss. I thought I had. Because I work around grief all the time I thought I had a handle on it, but
obviously did not. I had gone right back to working and being busy with life and pretended that I was fine. Anger is a feeling and feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. Your response to that feeling determines right from wrong.
When you express your anger and get it out in the open then it can be dealt with. Here is where a good ":listening" friend or counselor is helpful. Recognizing and talking about a problem will help diminish it.
If you choose to repress your anger it may be forced deeper into your subconscious. When you can't or don't want to deal with a problem it will fester like an infection, and like an infection it surface someday. Anger, just like an infection, is harder to cure the longer it is in your body.
So know that anger will probably raise it's ugly head during your grieving, and work at expressing it in a manner that will allow the natural healing process to continue.

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PAST LOSSES

Sometimes do you feel like you over react to the death of a family member or friend. The person may or may not have been close to you, but still the loss throws you into a tailspin more sever than you expected. WHY?
You may me dealing with unresolved losses from your past. You may have lost a relative or close friend years ago and never really dealt with the loss at that time, and now the recent death brings back all those hurts and fears. Unresolved grief is like being shot and never having the bullet removed. You can go for years with no problems, but then unexpectedly one day the pain overwhelms you. Grief that is not resolved will always be there, you may mask it or cover it up with family, job, church or even laughter, but it will never go away simply by ignoring it.
If you find yourself in this situation of overreacting to a loss, listen to your mind
and body and allow yourself to deal with not only this loss but the losses from your past that sill linger inside you.
The way to heal these hurts is to bring them out in the open. Talk about your feelings and fears with a trusted friend or family member. It will hurt to remove the "bullet", but you will be a much healthier person.

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DON'T MENTION IT

The "it" is the death of your spouse, child, parent, sibling or close friend. Those that don't mention "it" are your friends, family and coworkers. They never seem to talk about the person that died or even let you talk about him or her.
It can seem like that loved one never even existed. Nobody seems to remember them. You would enjoy hearing about a funny experience they had with your loved one. You would love to hear how that loved one touched someone else's life in a special way.
Sadly those stories are seldom shared. Your friends and family are afraid to tell you what you long to hear for fear that saying "their" name will remind you of the loss. What they don't understand is that that loss is ALWAYS on your mind. What they need to know is that by even saying "their" name they are helping to
heal that hurt, not reopening the wound. Unfortunately it will be up to you to keep
mentioning "their" name until that true friend steps up and does it for you.

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WHEN THE PARENT OF AN ADULT DIES

The death of a parent often seems to be a neglected grief because our friends and
coworkers think we should have been prepared for the death since the parent was getting up in years, or they may have been ill for a long time. Those around us expect us to handle this loss easily because we are mature adults and after all this was not as tragic as losing a child or spouse. They think that grieving the death of a parent may even be silly and uncalled for.
Anyone who has lost a parent knows that age and poor health have little bearing on our feelings. After all, no matter how old she was, she was still my mom and I am going to miss her greatly. No matter how sick he was, you may know in your head that he is better off by not having to suffer or struggle anymore, in your heart you still want him one more day, or hour, or minute. When your parent dies your world changes. You are now the older generation and you have lost that link to the past. No more stories about previous family members. No more special times together as the family you were. All the questions you didn't think to ask before
now have one one to answer them.
When one your parents dies you will grieve. You may cry and feel lost and alone. You may feel guilty for not having had that "perfect" relationship with your mom or dad. You may be angry with them or other family members. You may feel ashamed for having feelings of relief that they died. You may not feel much of anything for several weeks or months. but you will grieve because they were still your mom or dad.